Three of my dear and thoughtful friends questioned me this afternoon. All three single. All three childless. All three sharing some but not all of the daily realities of my life. They sat and listened and asked insightful questions. Encouraging me. Supporting me. Questioning me. Inspiring me. Here is sort of what I told them:
Life is this way. Being an adult. Marriage. Having a baby. Grad school. Teaching. Jobs. Money.
If anyone told you the extreme lows you would go to in this life, most of us would probably choose to sit on the couch and avoid the entire endeavor. If you knew the intensity of the arguments, the sleepless nights, the long hours, the endless and meaningless chores - would you really sign up for anything you've done recently?
All the important things in life are hard, though. And they aren't hard just once. Life doesn't come down to big moments of difficulty. Tests are not passed in a moment. Winning doesn't start on game day. Life is about the day after day of living through the harsh realities... and overcoming.
Life right now is definitely hard... what is the hardest part? It's not any one thing; it's all the things. It's the endless diapers. It's the six times my baby woke me up last night. It's that my husband always needs me to love him more (as he should). My house always needs me to clean it. My fridge always needs to be filled. My baby always needs me... well, for everything... It's also the pile of grading that is handed back only to assign more. It's the lessons that can always be made better. The emails that must always be answered. It's the fact that when your work is so life-giving, your life fills gladly with work. And when your life as a mother and as a wife is also your work, soon your work never ends. When the only option for rest isn't really an option at all, and when that option is actually the last thing you would want, that is the hardest part. But that's what makes it all worth it.
